I Wish I Never Found My "Tribe" and Why You Should Stop Looking Too!

Looking back at my life pre "finding my tribe" it wasn't too bad. I had a circle of great friends (still do). I had a pretty good routine daily and what most would consider a pretty normal life. There was always this one side of me, my creative person inside that stopped by every now and then. I usually kept those moments pretty quiet and created late at night when most were sleep. As I got more invested in my passion and talents I decided to really go for it. Try and turn a passion into a dream and a business.  Creating through photography, writing, crochet, sewing and many other things really made me happy.

While all of those feelings are great I still felt a little lonely at times. If you are a creative like me you may be familiar with feeling as if no one else GET's you. This feeling can especially be strong if there isn't anyone in your family with similar passions or interest. In my case not really even in my small circle of friends I have known most of my life.



Fast forward to 2015 when I started pursuing photography as more than a hobby. That lonely feeling crept back up. I eventually stumbled upon a group of Black Women Photographers. To be honest  I didn't realize there were so many other W.O.C like me in my own back yard with the same passions. Some of the similarities we shared went beyond photography. Some of the ladies love planners, blogging and organizing like I do. Some are into crochet and other hand crafts. Then there are those that are dreamers and believe in the power of mindfulness and energy. It's crazy really when you think about it. 

Contrary to my title in the moment I was super excited to find my tribe, my sisters, my community! That was until I realized what really comes with finding your tribe. From personal experience, trust me, it's not for everyone. After testing the waters in this whole #communityovercompetition life, let me tell you, I have a few reasons why you should stay solo. I mean come on... why on earth would you want to surround yourself with people like YOU! Do yourself a favor and just don't do it. If you go against my advice understandthat once you do it, you are stuck. I am still trying to escape but if I can save JUST ONE... Keep reading!

These are 5 Things I wish I knew before seeking out "MY TRIBE": 

1. They hold you accountable and really expect you to do the things you say you are going to do. I mean they are super pushy and won't take NO for an answer. Before them I would quit on myself and my dreams regularly now they constantly remind you of these things called goals and passions. They even make you create VISION BOARDS! LEAVE ME ALONE I DON'T WANNA BE GREAT!

2. They make you leave your house. This one is really hard especially if naturally you just aren't a social person. They force you out your house and into these events and activities with OTHERS, just like you. Like seriously how many of them are there. You just keep meeting more super creative people who are also in on the whole, "let's achieve our goals together" nonsense. So annoying!

3. They force you to learn and develop your craft. This whole education thing is really for the birds. Your skills get sharper you become more advanced I mean they start making you teach others things you have learned. I don't know about you but I was done with school once it stopped being mandatory. I don't wanna learn anything new. Growth is so overrated. 

4. They want you to be their friend. I mean beyond having just one thing in common. But I mean they really want to get all up in your business and care about your feelings and things you are dealing with. They start talking to you regularly. Your kids become friends and then, GET THIS, they add you to a group chat. I know what you are thinking, no no no no I don't want friends. Drake said it best "no new friends" I just want to be left alone. Stop asking me how am I doing. Stop caring about my life. Stop supporting my business and sharing my wins. I like to win in private. Thank you.

5. This is the big one. If I haven't convinced you in 1-4 why you should stay away from these tribes. Her it goes! They force you to live in the moment, love and appreciate your life and gifts, they make you laugh, they understand you and they genuinely want you to succeed and be HAPPY. {insert side-eye emoji} What is this HAPPINESS bologna you refer to. It's like finding a unicorn.  This is just too much.

Ask yourself why would I want ALL of that when I can walk this journey alone. Quietly give up on my dreams. Feel stagnant and misunderstood. Why in the world would I want another family. People who push me and celebrate life with me. Accountability partners, that requires a whole post by its self. Don't do it. 

Is this something you want for your life? Look at these pictures! Your face should hurt from all the smiles you see. I think that may be illegal. I'm just saying. Listen, if you read all this and you are CRAZY enough to still want to jump into the deep end of this whole Community Over Competition thing then know that you have been warned. There is no turning back no walking away. There is always one in the mix making sure no one fly's under the radar.

If you already belong to one of these strange and odd tribes please share your experiences and shout them out. I would love to report them... typo... I meant I would love to shout them out. Yes. That's it #shoutthemout. 

Until Next Time, Peace Peace

P.S. (call my mom let her know I have goals and need to be saved)